I happen to be a coach of a kids team (6-15 years) and I have and I continue learning a lot from them. We often train during the weekends and once or twice a month, we play friendlies and tournaments against other teams which gives the children an opportunity to gauge their progress and make mistakes which they later learn from. Such opportunities also assist me as a coach to test my formations and decide on how effectively I can assist this group to reach their potential both as individuals and as a team. I make sure they are aware of where they are and what I require from them so that they aspire to reach the targets I set for them.
On this one particular Saturday, we had a match against an opponent who was a relatively strong team. The said opponent had defeated my team in a previous match and my team was eager to revenge for that earlier loss. Among my kids, there is this boy I’ll call John ( I have no consent to expose his real name). He was one of my strikers. He had skill and often came through for the team when he was needed.
On this particular day, John was present and as usual, we gave him position 9 which is basically our main sticker. We played a good match though our opponent was superior in most departments. At half time, we were 0-2 down and I had to encourage kids at half time so that we could get a good result at the end of the ninety. Second half started and within no time, one of my players connected a very good pass to John. John could have easily sloted the ball in the goal but he decided to show everyone how skilled he was. He wanted to round the keeper first, then score on an empty net. Unfortunately, as he attempted to do the same, the keeper outstretched his hand and was able to grab the ball from Johns foot before he could hit it. We all felt very disappointed and our hands were on our heads not believing what we had seen.
Just when the match was about to end, John recieved another pass. This time, instead of passing the ball to his teammate, the other striker, he decided to go at it alone. Again before he could get past the last defender, the ball was taken from him. This time, even the other striker didn’t spare him! He clearly gave him a piece of his mind. He was much better placed to score but John, being as selfish as he was, wanted all the glory to himself.
After the match, as I was speaking to the team, I was very surprised to see John very devastated. He was actually crying and felt that he had let the team down. This was a surprise coming from him. You see, John comes from a very wealthy family. He was the type that receives everything he asks for and never shyed away from informing us how he had visited the biggest mall, his parents had just bought him a cool laptop, an expensive phone and all goodies life could provide. He was the type that was surprised how a teammate had torn soccer boots and the parents were not buying another pair! How now? The kind that wasn’t coming to every training session because he had options; when he felt like swimming, maybe get pizza at the mall or even play video games, he would just do whatever he wanted.
This was John when he joined the team. But as he slowly jelled in, he realized that he had a responsibility to the team; that he needed to show some commitment to the teammates. During his initial days, he could be part of the drills only when he felt he wanted. When he was bored, he could Sit down and just watch others training. But as time went on, we played many more matches and slowly, he began committing to training. The parent was actually surprised that he constantly refused to join then in other ‘cooler’ activities only to come and play soccer with the team.
As time went on, John became more aware and mindful of other people’s feelings and not just his own. He was able to sacrifice his pleasures for the sake of the team because of the commitment he made. He felt he needed to come through for the team and as time moved on, he became a very dependable player and performed better for the team with each passing match.
It is important for us parents to commit our children to an activity that would teach them to take responsibility and commit to the activity. We should be sensitive to what they like and facilitate their training so that they can reach their potential. Encouraging them will play a major role as demands from the activity will automatically make our children responsible and committed to the activity. This will go a long way in ensuring that they have a structured program and their time is fully committed so that the minimize their on screen time and therefore commit to a more productive activity.
I have written an ebook on Navigating Social media with your teen which has a strong emphasis on ensuring your child is engaged in physical activities to prevent lots of time spent on social media. Take a read and let me know what you think. Follow this link to download it:
Thank you.
